I know we all struggle at times with our self-worth…or is it our self-esteem? Is there a difference? I’ve been thinking about it lately and here are some of my thoughts. Lately, it seems I have struggled a bit with my own self-worth. Sometimes I think I have it all together when suddenly, out of nowhere, I seem to be back to square one again. Basically, I have not felt that anything I attempt to write about will be worthwhile to another…is this a low self-worth?
Well, it did get me thinking. We tend to confuse the terms self-worth and self-esteem. Essentially, self-esteem comes from a place where we tend to compare ourselves to those around us and how we measure up in society. For example, have you ever received a mark on something such as a test or exam and did not feel very good about it until you hear about another person making a lower mark than you? Instantly, we feel better about ourselves when we think someone else has performed worse than us or when we think someone else’s life does not seem to be going that well. Within this constant comparison mode, we are developing our self-esteem whether it is high or low, but all based on another person or event. This comparison by which we are measuring our self-esteem is affecting our self-worth. So, instead of trusting ourselves, we value the opinions of somebody else or what society believes ahead of what we may or may not believe to be true.
If you can get your head around that, then think about how trusting another’s opinion over your own can ultimately chip away at your self-worth. This can also lead to measuring how much we have, materially, and how that contributes to how we feel about ourselves. Self-worth is intrinsic – if you still like yourself after you take all that you have away, then you are ahead of the pack. We base it on who is in our life – our family, friends – the job we have, how much money we have, the house we live in, the clothes we wear, etc. Do not get me wrong, all of these things can be great, but they should not measure who you are. Only you know who you are if you care to look inward. All the above and society’s measure of self-esteem simply create a need for us to look outward and compare. Our self-worth is based on those intrinsic values that you want for yourself and who you are, not so much what you have.
So, I had a pretty good think about all of that and decided I did not want the tendency to compare myself to society to override what it is I want to say. I am hoping my belief in myself will continue and I will continue to post based on what I am learning from it. Let me know if you are experiencing any of the same.